ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
