Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
