quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
