If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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