do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
