Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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