Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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