I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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