Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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