whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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