So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
"it" just moved
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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