Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
