marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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