I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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