Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
