i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
