I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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