so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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