were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
