do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
