singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
