Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
