where am i from again
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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