Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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