he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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