I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
