I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
