So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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