My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
