You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
