I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
