Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
