i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize