True but thats because hes a fetus.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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