i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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