i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
They are going to name an STD after you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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