Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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