who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
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