Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
