I hate all girls vehemently.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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