kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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