My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
