Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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