yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
