She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
