Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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