I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
