Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
His hands were made for my vagina.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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