i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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