census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
