You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Damn victory sex feels great
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
