I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
