she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize