Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
