Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
