The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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