That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
