you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
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