What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
