The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
