I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
