It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
